It’s 2018 at the time I am writing this and I am engaged to the girl of my dreams.
We have been together for 6 years and that is not without work. I have worked on myself A LOT in order to be a better man for her. In return, she works hard to make herself a better woman for me.
We push each other to be better.
For this post, I wanted to focus on what I have learned in order to make myself a better person for the woman of my dreams. I am no expert but I happen to have a girl who loves me enough to keep me around 😉
This is what I have discovered:
You have to work hard for this privilege. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO A WOMAN.
As men, we have a duty to provide and bring confidence to people in our lives, especially women. They are gifted with powers beyond our comprehension (such as creating life and great memory) so we have to be there to protect, serve, and guide them through obstacles. They will improve our lives only if we improve theirs. As men, we have to make our women feel safe and cared for.
1. Have Confidence
Whether you are single and on the prowl, in a committed relationship, or somewhere in between you need to have confidence. This is earned.
And trust me when I tell you, the confidence factor does not change in a relationship. It is number one on this list for a reason.
If you want to have a strong relationship and have her be attracted to you, then create confidence and show it. Believe it or not, we have to attract women to us.
Just like a male peacock dances for females, we must display our confidence. But unfortunately, we do not have colorful feathers. (No, don’t pull out your junk. That’s childish and shallow.)
We are much more complicated. The next 8 ideas will help you express confidence and become more attractive to women.
2. Be a Provider and a Leader
You have to know what women want.
Do you find yourself asking this question: “Babe, what do you want to eat?”
Wrong move, cuzzo. You gotta know this. Women do not want to make these decisions especially after a long day. Food is our duty. Do your job and provide.
When I bring my fiance food she immediately gets in the better mood. Especially if its something she loves.
Pay attention and surprise her. You know what she likes to eat. Make her chocolate-chip pancakes in the one morning without expecting anything in return. You might just get laid.
This goes for single guys too. Next time you hit on a girl at the bar, buy her food instead of a drink. Stand out from the other cheap jokers that are buying girls yet another vodka-water.
3. Make them Better People
This is why my fiance and I are so close. We have grown together in ways neither of us could have done on our own.
When you care about someone, some of the most difficult things you will have to do is motivate them. But we have to hold our loved ones to a higher standard. Friends and family deserve that. Our women, especially, deserve that.
If you are in a relationship, push your significant other to be a better version of themselves personally, professionally, emotionally, and spiritually.
4. Keep your Word and Live in Truth: Be Reliable
Most people can sense when someone is lying. Women KNOW when you are lying.
Simple solution: Don’t lie
Lying in a relationship is plain stupid. It is the opposite of confidence. Lying is for weak people who are unsure of their own decisions.
If you are trying to pick up girls somewhere, being your authentic self is the best way to go. They can sense authenticity. This will attract the girls that are into you and your style.
I learned to do this after a year in college and it is one of the most freeing feelings in the world. When you know your values and communicate them with actions, you feel that all is right in the world. I found my fiance in the weight room while being the goof-ball that I am.
5. Understand how to Communicate
You have to understand a few things when communicating with your girlfriend, fiance, or wife: (again, I am not an expert, just experienced.)
Tone is everything. Mind your tone and pay attention to theirs.
“Fine” means it is NOT fine.
If she asks you a question such as “are you hungry?” They are really telling you that they are hungry.
Lastly, actions speak louder than words. “I love you” only goes so far. Our communication is shown through actions. Making the bed, keeping them warm, making them food, cleaning, and providing are all great examples of showing that you are a capable man.
But, these actions are different for different relationships. For instance, we own a ton of houseplants. So one thing I like to do it water and trim them to show her that I care.
This is all I got so far on communication:)
6. Have a Vision Bigger than Yourself and Help Others
I’m convinced that one of the big reasons my fiance has stuck with me is because I think big. I create everyday. I have goals and have shared my vision with her everyday.
These things are attractive qualities because they show thoughtful planning. If you stick to your word you can make your vision a reality. It also shows that you are capable of taking care of other people besides yourself.
A few examples of things I did:
- Started a business in college (financial advising practice)
- Planned a paddle-boarding trip on the great-lakes and asked her to marry me on a beach at sunset.
- Started Saving money for her retirement.
- Completed an Olympic Triathlon
An important part of thinking bigger than yourself is helping others. My fiance has heard me spend hours over the phone with hundreds of people talking through issues they are facing. From money to careers to relationship advice.
Now we think bigger together. We both like to serve and we have done tons of stuff for people and the environment. These have made us much closer because we team up to do things neither of us could accomplish alone.
7. Physical Strength
Take care of your body and train like you have to win a competition (even if you don’t). This matters for a few reasons in my mind:
- You should be able to literally sweep your girl off her feet.
- If there is ever a time you need to keep her from danger you will be able to.
If she knows how physically strong you are, it will make you more attracted because you can protect her if worse comes to worse.
8. Make them laugh
Laughter is a big part of relationships. You have to be able to tickle their funny bone. Whether you are in a long-term relationship or if you just met, this will give you a leg up. They will associate you with a good time.
But don’t try to be funny 100% of the time or else you are just a clown.
9. Be Gentle
This is one I struggle with the most.
Throughout my life, I have done tons of intense and violent sports from wrestling, baseball, and football to triathlons and power-lifting. Gentle is not my forte.
But if you work on being gentle, its like the Midas touch for women. Be conscious of your physical touch.
If you can master all of these then you will have a better chance of attracting a woman who is:
A. Actually attracted to you and your style
B. Will make your life better
Live a Great Life!
– Murph
Live a Great Life 