I read books, articles, and Instagram posts about “success” all the time. They are great messages and I appreciate them but it’s hard not to sound vague and cliche. Hardly ever does anyone speak to how they break bad habits and create good ones.
They typically say some simple, one word answer like “DO” or “Take action”. But what does that mean?
The answer is simple but not easy.
If you think about it, almost everything human beings do was learned at some point. From the alphabet to taxes, they were all taught to us.
But no one teaches you strict self-control as it pertains to your goals and life-style. We are in a society now where someone who has achieved their vision is a success.
Habits run our life. Cues in our environment tell our brains the next move we need to make. These steps will help build your self control.
1. Have a great reason why you want the habit
Before you “DO” or “Take action” make sure it will potentially give you an outcome you desire. Sit down and define your reasoning for wanting a particular habit. What’s success look like for this habit?
It’s not enough to say “I want to run 5 miles a day.” Our brains need to connect that with a something. WHY do you want to run 5 Miles a day? “So I can finish my first Marathon.”
Doing this will also help you enjoy the journey because that’s what matters. Enjoy the work and the thrill of the chase and the satisfaction of getting closer to something.
I have found that connecting a habit with accountability through competition flips a switch in my brain as well. Whether its competing with others or my old personal records it works similarly.
Define the Why.
2. Start with something super easy and attainable
This is a game-changer and almost never talked about. Hack the game so you can win.
For example, when you were taught the alphabet the teacher didn’t run you through the whole thing and say, “You guys got it, right? No need to go over that again.”
Of course not. Your teacher most likely spent time on each and every letter so you could recognize it, know the sounds it can make, and where it is used. Language is just recognizing cues we develop so we can respond effectively and communicate.
Treat any habit with the same intentional progression.
If you want to create an early morning running habit I found that one of the most detrimental things you can do is start running, pounding the pavement on the first morning out. This is an easy way to deflate your will-power muscles.
The goal is to GROW will power so the approach is much simpler.
Keep a promise to yourself. “Tomorrow morning I will get up at 5 A.M. and walk around the block.” The issue isn’t getting up early as much as it is what you have to do after you’re up! Plan on doing something that you know with 110% certainty you can do.
The CEO of Automattic, Matt Mullenweg, had a goal at one point to do one push-up a day.
There are psychological reasons for this:
- You are promising yourself that you will do something VERY simple. This tricks the little gremlin in your brain that tells you to hit snooze. Do this a few times in the first week. Before you know it, it’s easier than you thought. Once you trick yourself to get up, you can actually run during “walk” times.
- If you have it in your head that you are just walking, it makes it easier to get up than if you say you are going to run 5 miles. Trust me. Just make progress.
I say this because this is what I did. I tried to force myself to do the early morning beat- the-crap-out-of-myself workout. It’s not sustainable to force yourself into it. Sure you might do it for a few weeks.
But the goal is to do it forever! You will just be frustrated, exhausted, and unwilling to make progress.
With this method, you progress over time into a routine of getting up and moving. You don’t have to FORCE anything! Plus, progress will come faster than you think.
3. Create an environment for your success
This step takes some thought. This is mostly prepping your wardrobe and your meals. You want to make less decisions and each decision you make should be easy and efficient.
Let’s use a morning run routine as an example:
- Set out your running clothes next to your bed BEFORE you fall asleep. You wake up and already know what you are wearing to run.
- Have a target in mind of time or distance such as around the block or run 30 minutes straight.
- Plan your meals the night before too. Meal prepping will help you avoid impulsively buying horse-crap gas-station food.
Along with your physical environment comes your mental environment.
- Books
- Groups
- Podcasts
- Speeches
- Articles
- Videos
- Classes
- Mentors
These are all revolutionary tools to arm yourself with to get in the right state of mind.
The best way is to surround yourself with people who are like minded. If you want to be a marathoner meet up with marathoners. Read books on running. Listen to marathon podcasts. Simple. Hit all your senses and fill your head with running a marathon.
4. Have fun
Elevate and Celebrate.
When someone hits a home run to take the lead, there is a celebration. It’s not celebrating that ONE RUN. It’s not even celebrating that ONE homer.
They are celebrating YEARS of work, thousands of swings, hundreds of workouts, and all the rejection that lead up to the moment where everything went right and the ball left the park.
Priceless.
Celebration has to have a much deeper meaning than the moment. Don’t celebrate for the sake of celebrating. It should be special. It needs to leave a feeling inside of you for the next time you are half-way through a workout or a class you can push through to the other side.
Celebrate progress and celebrate the journey. Celebrate winning because it will keep you going onto the next journey even though it will contain mostly failure, rejection, and pain.
Train your mind to understand that after suffering, there is a reward. Even if the only the reward is the fact that you are a better person for going through hard times.
Become better for yourself and others around you.
5. Recognize, Reflect, and Repeat
Do this with anything your are trying to accomplish. Go head first.
Recognize the following attributes:
- Commitment- You have to jump into the water. No tip toeing around.
- Integrity- Do it when no one is looking. When you don’t feel like it.
Reflect:
- How did you feel? Emotionally, physically.
- How did you make other feel?
- What went well?
- What went terrible? Should you spend time making it better?
Repeat:
- Use the same basic formula for other habits or goals.
“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life” – Jerzy Gregorek
No, I am not some guru. I have learned a lot through intentional self-development. I have had a lot of experiences in stressful situations and would feel selfish for not sharing strategies I have learned.
I share because others have done the same for me.
The goal is to be selective and cognizant of our choices and the life we are creating.
Get busy living.
– Murph
Live a Great Life 